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Coronavirus: Huge rise in mourners trying to access online bereavement counselling

Sue Ryder, a charity that offers bereavement support, says it is in urgent need of funding to help those who have contacted them.

Eric Holt with his wife Margaret, who is undergoing chemotherapy
Image: Eric Holt with his wife Margaret, who is undergoing chemotherapy
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People trying to access bereavement counselling are having to go on a waiting list due to a surge in demand as the UK death toll from coronavirus continues to rise.

Sue Ryder, a charity that offers bereavement support, says it is in urgent need of funding in order to help all those who have contacted them following the death of a loved one.

The numbers trying to access online counselling have risen by 84% in the last three weeks.

"For the first time ever with our online video support we're actually running a waiting list for people," said the charity's chief executive Heidi Travis.

"It's not surprising because it's not just people who have relatives or friends passing away from COVID-19 but it's also people who've got relatives or friends who are dying from other causes as well.

Coronavirus UK tracker: How many cases are in your area – updated daily
Coronavirus UK tracker: How many cases are in your area � updated daily

"The particular circumstances that we're all living in with the coronavirus is creating a very different feeling for people in terms of grief and how they deal with their bereavement.

"It's really important normally when people are grieving that people have physical contact.

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"One of our online bereavement counsellors said that people have talked to them about how standing at a funeral with someone and they're crying and you're crying and yet you're unable to give them a hug or hold their hand is not what we're used to."

Eric Holt passed away on 22 March, just weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer.

It was the day before lockdown began.

Grief in lockdown: How losing a loved one feels during a pandemic
Grief in lockdown: How losing a loved one feels during a pandemic

The family could only have a small, socially-distanced funeral and have not been able to offer each other the kind of support they would have liked.

Mr Holt's wife, Margaret, is shielding as she's undergoing chemotherapy.

Their daughter Alisa has struggled with the loss of her father.

"The hardest part is not being able to comfort your family," she said.

"I couldn't hold my mum's hand. I haven't hugged her since the day my dad died because I'm terrified that I will have something and I will give it to her then I'll lose both of them."

She agrees that people suffering loss in lockdown need help because their usual support networks aren't there.

Image: Eric Holt's daughter Alisa says the hardest part is not being able to comfort her mum

Journalist Stephanie Nimmo agrees.

She has written extensively about bereavement following the deaths of both her husband and daughter, and is urging anyone who knows someone who might be struggling to offer support.

She said: "The most important thing is to know that you're not alone.

"I think we are feeling this as a nation. We're a lot more aware that people are on their own and if you know someone who has lost a loved one then just check in on them, drop a note through the door, ask 'are you OK?' while socially distancing at the end of the driveway or at the end of the corridor.

"Just have a chat and check in. I think that's the most important thing."